... and that's when things got fuzzy

Ah, the third all-nighter. Glad that's over. I mean, I'm doing okay, so no worries... rested plenty beforehand, still able to function just fine, finished the paper and got it sent in. Then I looked up, and the day was gone. I don't remember that part.

Things are just zipping by lately. I'm not so much an aimless procrastinator as I am a glutton for high pressure. Well, I've got the pressure up to a nice, steady bubble, which is just where I like it. Three papers are done and out of the way now. From here, I can just begin to see little hints of an end in sight. My qualitative presentation is on Monday; the paper that goes along with that presentation is due that Thursday, by which point I'll already be back in Texas for the break, so that'll be an email in the works for a day or two. I have to get a few papers graded and my grades for the lab turned in by tomorrow, which I'm not worrying about. Before I do that, I have a methods final tomorrow morning, which I guess I should be worried about, but I'm not. Okay... so I have a final, assignments to grade, a presentation, and a big paper. No problem.

Not that I'm not worried. I mean, there's more to life than school, no matter what they tell you. Tomorrow will have to involve a room cleaning, maybe some laundry... Friday is allegedly the day I receive my loan reimbursement from school, which means a good bit of running around like an idiot. And all of it comes down to Saturday... I go to Brooklyn in the morning for my last recording session with Craig before I leave for the long break, then I run back home in the early evening to get things ready for Jane's birthday party at our place. Jeese... if I could've scheduled the session for another day, I would've happily done it. Still, it couldn't be helped, so it looks like I'll be in Brooklyn on Saturday morning for a few hours. Then again, there might be a transit strike going on by then, so I may not have a trip to anyplace that morning. Or I may be walking. A lot.

EIther way, Saturday will be busy, so I'm sort of bracing myself for the weekend. Go figure... and people say the weekends are for resting. Amateurs. Then, on Sunday, I have to prepare for my presentation and work on my paper, squeezing in a performance at Pete's Candy Store on Sunday evening (in Brooklyn... again, assuming there's transportation). Then, we're finally at Monday, when I'll have my presentation, a little choir caroling performance, and a quick stop at my apartment to pick up my luggage before heading off to the airport. Yeah. Guess I ought to pack at some point.

So then there was today. I finished my paper this afternoon, then looked up to find the sun was completely gone. At that point, I was so disoriented, I couldn't have told you what day it was. To be honest, I don't know that I can tell you now, either. Doesn't matter. I know I have a final tomorrow... today is over, and I used it well, so I can't complain. Bring it on, and let the days keep ticking past me. Yesterday was my seven year wedding anniversary, and I might not have noticed if I wasn't so in love. Let the days keep ticking past me, please. Huh... sounds like a song. Nah... I'm not that cheesy.

I posted two new songs on my website, but it still feels like I've gotten nothing done, so I keep having to record, keep having to write, and keep feeling very, very hungry to do it all the time. Thing is, time flies when you're writing and recording. And hey... if I can keep looking up and not noticing the day passing for the next few of them, all the better. It's time for a rest, though, time to press pause on my New York life for a couple of weeks, to remind myself what it's like to hold someone. Go for a few weeks without so much as a hug and see what happens. Nothing, really. And that's just it. So I write songs, and I do my best not to notice that the days are passing a little too slowly. I played a gig at CBGB last night, and I almost wasn't paying attention while I was up there. I'm doing things I could only dream of just a few months ago, and I'm grateful, but I think I could use a breather from being alone all the time. Looks like I miss my boy, the pups, the kyadden, the motorcycle, some good friends I left behind... I don't often miss them to the point of pangs, but it happens, just once in a while. Otherwise, I'm good. It's just the whole silly wedding anniversary thing that tends to bring it out of me.

Funny little social convention, marriage. Gotta love the strangeness of a world that otherwise strives for logic, then comes up with something like marriage. As for me, I look at marriage like a Mister Potato Head... sure you know how it's supposed to look, but what's the fun in that? Besides, it's still a Mister Potato Head, no matter where you put the parts. So you mix it up a little, move off to wherever and do the things you've always dreamed, and somehow stay perfectly happy and united and in love... except for the occassional days, like wedding anniversaries, where it sort of sneaks up to you and kicks you in the mouth with a big, spikey, steel-toe boot. Yeah, well, I'll be holding him on Monday, and it's gonna feel really, really good. Just a hunch.