Monday, October 03, 2005

The rampant lack of restraint continues

I'm not sure if you'd call it some kind of disease. Or disorder, maybe. Or perhaps just some good ol' dementia. All I know is that I seem to be on a quest to give myself an aneurism.

Now it's not a matter of getting involved in too many activities. I mean, yes, I'm a pro when it comes to that, but that's not my problem anymore. Choir barely makes a dent in my week, fencing has been put on hold until I can get new equipment (which is being remedied tomorrow, at long last), studies are well under control for the moment, and teaching has been a breeze. No, I'm fine on the activities front. I'm hunting bigger game now.

I've decided that I'm going to go ahead with my plan to organize a conference through the psychology department, focusing on qualitative methodology in the field of psychology, both in terms of clinical practice and research. I've already contacted the head of the department with my idea, and he likes it so far, so I'm giving myself till the fall to work out the kinks and actually have the thing happen, possibly announcing a call for papers by the spring semester. Speaking of papers, I've just started working on a paper I want to submit to a woman's studies journal... there's been a call for papers dealing with the topic of envy, so I want to do a paper on female adolescents and their experience of envy in terms of social development via an existential phenomenological psychology approach. I just started looking at a few sources today, beginning with deBeauvoire. (Incidentally, I told John about it, and I think he's going to submit something, too... how cool would that be if we both got published? Pipe dream, sure, but stranger things have happened.)

I asked the student activities office at Fordham if I could start a competitive fencing club. They told me that graduate students aren't allowed to start sports clubs. Well, that's just retarded. So I then contacted my local Graduate Student Association representative (aka my roommate) and related my grievances; her response was to discuss it with some of the other GSA folks, and they concluded that I should contact the new graduate student coordinator. I've done just that, and now I'm waiting to hear word on what she can do for me. If that doesn't work, I'll take it to someone else. Sorry... if I'm going to be here for the next four or five years, I should be able to have a silly little fencing club at Fordham. I'm going to fight for it, and that's that.

Back at the psychology department, the fight for the master's thesis begins. I'll soon be submitting my University of Dallas thesis to the department here at Fordham, after which they'll deliberate over it for who knows how long, getting back to me at some point with a verdict on what I'll be doing next term. If things go well, I'll be getting to work on my dissertation. If they don't like the thesis, I'll be doing a pre-dissertation project. I don't suppose it's any mystery as to which way I'd rather things go. At this point, I'm waiting to hear back from the head of the Applied Developmetnal Psychology division, who's going to give me the protocol for submission. After than, I send it off and do more waiting. And boy, do I love waiting.

I realize it hasn't been long, that I've only been here something like two months. Fine. Whatever. I'm bored. Besides, I really want these things to work, and for good reasons, all. Why on earth shouldn't I pursue them? Because it's hard? Because I'm too busy? Because I should be focusing on the work I already have on my plate? The way I see it, this is all work-related; I owe it to my school to contribute on multiple levels; part of why they took me in the first place is because of all the things I've done. Well, how the hell do you think I did them?

If my thesis is accepted, all the better; that's a little less work I have to worry about. Fencing is something I'm not going to ever get away from, and, frankly, Fordham could definitely use a fencing program. And as for the conference, that's obviously good for the department, as well as for myself professionally. The paper for the women's studies journal? A venue to get published, writing about the stuff I want to study. Yeah, it's a lot to do, but really, that's the sort of work load I always thought a doctoral student was supposed to have. I'm supposed to be working hard, right? Well, hard work for me is a little different than the 'usual,' I presume. In spite of my track record, I've been keeping very healthy, and have been careful to remain that way, getting plenty of rest, taking my meds like clockwork, eating right, working out, etc. I'm expecting to get some flack from a few people about this anyway, but I'm used to it. Actually, save your breath, folks. If you haven't figured it out by now, I am indeed out to prove something.


Post a Comment

<< Home