Clandestine density... yeah, that's right... density

For three weeks now, John, Nate, Jaucelynn, Tank, Chuck, and myself have been in a weight loss competition with one another that will last a total of sixteen weeks. Each Monday, we all weigh in... I'm the only one who can't show up at the house to weigh in with everyone else, so I had to buy an identical scale and video tape my weigh-ins, then email them in so that no one thinks I'm lying. Whoever's lost the largest percentage of their original body weight by the May 1st deadline wins a cash prize (each of us has put in fifty bucks). Here's the weird thing... after three weeks and two weigh-ins, I'm actually winning.

It's not what I expected. Granted, I'm not likely to hold on to my lead... I mean, John and Chuck are both doing very well, and working really hard at it. Besides, I've got a pretty messed-up metabolism, what with my thyroid being... um... gone. Besides, I've got the furthest to go... of everyone in the competition, I'm furthest away from my ideal weight, least hydrated, with the highest fody fat percentage... it doesn't make sense that I should be doing very well at all. Then again, I did sell my car. Wanna lose weight? Sell your car and move to New York. Since I've been here, I've lost... wait for it... thirty-four pounds. Scary. And I haven't even been working out. Okay, yes, I walk everywhere. Yes, I fence once or twice a week. And, okay, there's absolutely no fast food in my diet (because there isn't really any around for me to get most days... I may have a hot dog on the street once in a while, but that's about it). So okay, maybe, despite not working out, I'm doing things that are somewhat equivalent to working out. Still... it's hardly work.

Something else about all this has been rather nice. Of course, there's the idea of fitting into clothing and feeling better about it. And there are health benefits, to be sure, just as I can easily say that my energy levels have drastically increased. Still, there are the little things.

When I came to New York, I defnitely didn't look as heavy as I was. I would tell people, even stand on a scale to show them, and they still couldn't believe it... my magic number when I set foot in New York City was, incredibly, 234, although I didn't look an ounce over 180, maybe even less. Now, I'm at a flat 200. Granted, I didn't look as heavy as that six months ago, and I certainly don't look that heavy now. Therefore, the numbers on the scale never mattered much to me, given that they never say much about how I really look. All the same... 200 is a huge benchmark for me. I've weighed over 200 pounds for a good while now, and, despite other people never knowing it, I've known it. The first time I saw that I weighed just over 200, I hadn't looked at a scale in a long, long time, so I didn't exactly watch it happen. It just was. Suddenly. Just like that. This weight loss, on the other hand, hasn't been painfully gradual... sort of accidental, really... but I've definitely been around to see it. And now I've got a damn scale, and I see those numbers, and they're not so scary anymore.

Right now, I'm on the brink of being under 200 pounds for the first time in who knows when. Each week, I lose a little more. In fact, I've begun to include a workout into my routine... nothing awe-inspiring, just a couple of days a week on the eliptical machine. Since the start of the competition, I've lost just over 8 pounds. Yesterday's weigh-in had me at 200 pounds... might I actually be below that next week? Woah... if so, I'll definitely take it. meanwhile, John's doing a great job... he's working out almost every day, eating healthier than I've ever seen (and of his own free will, no less)... already, he's worked off 7 pounds these last three weeks, and he's nowhere near slowing down. Chuck, who's an old pro at the weight-related self-deprecation and punishment by going into diet and exercise overdrive, is also doing plenty of damage so far, having lost about 5 pounds (without exactly trying, mind you... just wait till he really gets going with the guilt). Meanwhile, there are three more of us, and it's been an interesting struggle to witness. Everyone seems to have a theory on what will work for him or herself, how to regulate things in their lives, adding and subtracting here and there. So far, success for Jaucelynn, Tank, and Nate has been touch and go, but they've certainly not thrown in the towel, and have become more and more determined with the passing weeks. I consider myself their biggest fan, their most energetic cheerleader.

Oh, yeah... I got into the Vagina Monologues. Go figure. Hopefully, I can be ten more pounds lighter by the time the show goes up in March... It would be nice, I think, to make my... um... New York theatrical debut weighing in at under 200 pounds. Maybe it's petty of me, but I can't help thinking it would still feel pretty good.