Monday, August 27, 2007

One week to go

And then it's back to the grind. Ah, well... it was bound to happen, right? I have this week to finish up work on the conference website, the final copy of my thesis, and preparations for teaching my new lab for Dr. Malcolm's research methods course. Lovely. And to think I was missing being busy. Okay, maybe I lied, just a little.

John actually has class today. While Fordham doesn't begin classes until next week, John's program runs as a consortium with NYU and CUNY, so the courses he takes there abide by the academic calendars for those schools. Hence, CUNY's first day being today meant that today is also John's first day. Fun. Actually, I think it rather is. For him, anyway. The class is on Catullus, who John is kind of a freak about and has read pretty extensivelly over the past several years. Needless to say, he's feeling confident about the material, so he's been looking forward to the class since, I don't know, forever. I don't think he's ever had a strictly Catullan course before, so this should be fun for him. As for his other two courses, I think they start up next week, so they're not on his mind in the least. He also gets started on teaching his two Latin I sections next week, too, which should be the equivalent of taking a nap for this guy.

Now that John's gotten things rolling, I'm starting to feel a little strange, as though I'm falling behind. I don't think I really am, but I have a sense that I should be hurrying up with something, or getting something set up and ready, or SOMETHING! I'm doing what I can... I've been reading over materials for my teaching gig, getting a head start on reading a couple of texts for my upcoming corsework... you know... nerdy stuff. Strangely, it hasn't given me the fix I've been looking for. What else can I do? At this point, doing any more preparation would be guesswork, and I'd hate to do anything that will serve no purpose at all in the long run. I suppose I'll just keep on keepin' on, the way I have been, during this next week, and see what happens. Chances are, this odd anxiety will pass in a couple of days, and I'll be fine with what I'm up to. I just wish I could hurry up and get there, to that state of mind where I'm comfortably busy, knowing what I'm doing and why, with a foreseeable outcome somewhere in sight.

On the bright side, there's the weight loss. How can I NOT talk about the weight loss? I'm at 165 now, which is nuts. I am literally at a loss when I look in the mirror sometimes, not because I'm such a vision or anything, but because I'm having a hard time coping with the fact that NONE OF MY CLOTHES FIT. What the hell am I supposed to do? I have a week before classes begin, and I'm down to two, maybe three complete outfits, none of them particularly spectacular. In fact, I think I'm down to one pair of jeans, completely out of slacks, running very thin on skirts and dresses, and slowly picking off shirts. My bras don't even fit anymore! This is getting pretty serious... I may have to learn how to alter clothing or something, because there's no way I'll be able to financially handle a full replenishment of my wardrobe. I'll be honest... I didn't think this would be a ploblem. Hell, I didn't think this diet would work, and certainly not this quickly! In nearly ten weeks (it'll be ten weeks tomorrow), I've gone down 33 pounds, and I'll likely drop a few more in the next week before school starts up. I'm thrilled, sure, but COME ON!!!

That's another thing. I'm bracing myself for the reactions I'm bound to get from people when school starts. It's strange; part of me wants people to act as if I look the same, as if nothing's happened, just so I can avoid the weird questions and comments... but then I also know that I'll be a little freaked out if no one says ANYTHING. Naturally, the weight loss shows... I don't care how big you are, you don't lose thirty-some pounds and not see a physical difference. Still, to hear absolutely nothing from anyone would be strange. It's not that I want things to go either way, but I want to at least be prepared for whatever comes. I suppose that's part of the reason I'm worried about clothing at the moment. At the very least, I'd like to look like a normal person in clothing that fits realtively well, rather than someone who's just melted right there in their own clothes. That would just make me look unhealthy, I think. Who knows... maybe I'll figure something out in the next week. On the bright side, John's pretty much replaced his closet with properly fitting clothes, or at least enough of the basics to get by on... several pants and shirts, a new belt... so he'll be fine for a couple of months. We'll have to see what's in store for the sad state of my clothing as the week progresses. Looks like I'll be wearing lots of Target and K-Mart clothes if I want anything soon!


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