Discovering a new kind of boredom

Not boredom, per se... well, maybe. Just kind of stagnating a little, I guess.

I'm not used to being this un-busy. And I'm busy, according to some. But I'm usually slammed with crap to do, and I'm just not feeling it. Shouldn't I be reveling in this? On the other hand, maybe I'm supposed to be really busy, and I'm screwing things up so bad that I don't even realize the fifty other things I'm supposed to be doing. Actually, I could make myself busier. I could crank out early work on my thesis, even my dissertation. I could write random papers and submit them for publication or conferences. I could train for a marathon.

Funny... I can't seem to bring myself to do any of that.

I'll get to it. Honest. And I'm not being a slacker. I'm just taking a different approach to things. John, suprisingly, hasn't been a distraction. In fact, I think we actually manage to motivate each other to get quite a bit of work done. We've actually both been a little suprised at that one. No complaints, though. It's nice to have him here, and we're having a really good time. Maybe that's got something to do with this new approach. I seem to have... what do they call it again... free time? Yeah. Weird. But I ike it. I mean, don't get me wrong. By free time, I mean, like, a day, maybe two, where I only have a couple of major things on my schedule, and then it's five, maybe six hours of down time. I can live with that. I don't think it's gonna last too much longer, though... I'll be starting choir next week, and fencing. Still, it won't take up nearly as much time as last year... choir will only be once a week, and fencing snuggles right up to time during which I'd be hanging out on campus doing nothing anyway. Now all I have to do is get my workout schedule to wedge in there somehow, and I'm pretty much set for the semester. So okay... I'm starting to feel a smidge better about this boredom thing. But seriously, it really does feel odd.

No worries. I've been jotting down ideas for new songs, putting melodies together here and there while scribbling them all down in this nifty little notebook I take everywhere I go. When I'm not reading for class, I'm pretty much scribbling down music and lyrics and the like. I haven't really given any of them a full treatment, though, so I suppose that's why I'm feeling a little unproductive on the music end of things. I am working on new music, though, even if I haven't exactly played or sung any of it yet.

It's been raining all day, and it's supposed to keep at it into the evening. The New York fall uniform of the hoodie/blazer combo is starting to opp up everywhere, now that the heat of summer is officially on its last legs. Fine with me... I'm up for a change of season.