What could have been, how much it's worth

I had plans this weekend... lots of them. It was going to be fruitful and productive, and I was going to get to the end of it feeling very proud of everything I'd accomplished.

So much for that.

John and I completely slacked off. I think we each got some reading done, but that was about it. And the reading is no small thing, of course... He's reading Sallust, I'm reading Freud... so yeah, not exactly chump change. Still, it's got nothing on the plans we'd made. I was going to get chores done, errands run, studying out of the way. Yeah.

To be honest, I'm doing it again. Right now, I'm supposed to be working on a problem for regression analysis... I'm sitting in a computer lab, pretending to have SPSS open. I can't do it... my head is killing me, and it's time for dinner. Enough with the numbers, already.

I think back on the days when I liked math... I can't remember any such days. I kind of detest it, to be honest. Sure, it's a big part of what I do, but I don't have to like it. It's a necessary evil, as far as I'm concerned. After all, math is more of my dad's thing. Kind of explains why, despite my continuous efforts, I fail to feel much warmth in the math area.

Speaking of which... it's dad's birthday. I think he's 57 now. Usually, when his birthday comes along, it reminds me that mine's only a couple of weeks away. This time, I've sent our gift to him via mail (I think he'll be getting it in a few weeks, according to the company I ordered it from). I think he'll like it. If he doesn't, it's out of my hands, and I can say that I tried, which is usually the way I choose to see most all things where my dad is concerned. If nothing else, I can tell him how much the gift was worth, and it'll probably score me some points with him. Call it shallowness on his part if you want... I choose to see it as a choice of priority placement, and that's where dad seems to place his more often than not. It's not his fault, really... it's the American way. Or maybe it's the American immigrant way... to be more overt about it, that is. Let's face it... the value that tends to matter most to us all is usually of the monetary variety, despite our best intentions. I don't think it's altogether bad, just peculiar that we don't feel comfortable about it. When people find out what I do, they make assumptions about the money I'll eventually make. Funnier still is the fact that I let them.

Happy birthday, dad.