Saturday, January 27, 2007


Okay... much better.

For a while there, I was feeling as though I'd never get the ball rolling. I'm no less busy at this point, but I've at least gotten a little... um... peppier about things. My theory is that my workout regimen is finally starting to kick in, simply enough. Go figure... to think that a silly little thing like metabolism can make such a difference. But seriously, I'm feeling much more motivated in general, which is unquestionably a welcome change in the state of things. Aside from that, there's not much new to report.

I do, however, need a backrub. A good one. And a haircut. Oh, and an extra day or two tacked on to the week. And, while I'm at it, a pony. Just call me Veruca Salt without the money.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Making headway

The semester doesn't seem so bad yet. For starters, I had my first class last week, and it went swimmingly. I have a good bit of reading to do already, but that's not so big a deal. I've also gotten my first thesis draft back for correntions and re-vamps, so I'll at least have that to keep me busy if I happen to get bored. Aside from that, I also have the conference to prepare for, and one or two emails to send out regarding deadline changes, submissions, and so forth. I also had rehearsal for Concert choir, which went fine, and I sang with Liturgical chior this morning, also fine. Today, I'll be getting some work done at the Lincoln Center campus, where John will be meeting me at some point. After some work, we'll grab some food, get a workout in, and eventually make our way home to possibly do laundry and tidy up around the apartment. Thus ends my first week into the spring semester.

How do I feel? Not sure yet. A few people I've run into are expressing a general malaise, much the same sort as what I was experiencing no more than a few days ago. I'm healthy, working out when I can, eating right, sleeping plenty... I'm just not ready to be back at the grind. The worst of it is that I haven't really experienced the full force of an actual week just yet; we had Monday off, and Monday happens to be my busiest day, so I have no idea how I'll feel at the end of it. Then again, I should know by tomorrow. I have a 9:30 class tomorrow morning in the Bronx, followed by and 11:30 right afterwards, then a bit of a break before my 4:00, followed by a 6:00 rehearsal and coaching fencing at 7pm. If all goes well, I'll be on the 8:30 van back to the city, getting home by around 10 or so. That's not so bad, is it? Well, okay, it's not great, but it is what it is, and I'm not too worried about it. How is this any different from what I've done for the past year-and-a-half?

I'll tell you what's different: I'm living with John, and I'm living in Brooklyn. The John part isn't so bad, since I think he's acclamated pretty well to living here, but he and I will both be busier than we've ever been in one another's company, which is saying a lot. As for the Brooklyn part, it's not exactly hell and gone from the rest of the world, but it does make things a little rough for me if I have to be in the Bronx virtually every day of the week. This isn't worry on my part... just an acknowledgement that things are going to be a little different, perhaps a bit more hectic than even I'm used to. Worry? No. Consternation? Maybe a little. Why do I do this to myself? I mean, I am the one doing this to myself, am I not? Choir and fencing? What is that about? I'm also giving one or two voice lessons here and there, but that's no biggie (besides, it lets me make a couple of extra bucks, so at least it's not for nothing). It's the choir and fencing that I don't get. I did consider droping both of them this semester, but I just couldn't. If I weren't singing every day, I don't know what I'd do. As for the fencing... okay, I might end up dropping that one. Maybe. But I digress... why do I do this? Why do I overload myself and go full steam, making everyone around me crosseyed at what I'm doing? Do I enjoy it? A little, maybe, but it's certainly not all fun. I can think of far easier ways to enjoy myself.

You know what? I don't know. I don't care. I'm a train that doesn't stop easily, and that's the way I think I've always been. I've gotten worse about it over the years, but I don't seem to be feeling worse about it. In fact, I think I've become better at doing this to myself, and, for what it's worth, it's not so bad. I'm sure I'm not the busiest person out there, right? I mean, there must be millions of people who run themselves full throttle all the time. I live in New York... I'm sure I pass most of them on the street every day. I think I just start to doubt myself sometimes, that I begin to wonder if I should listen to everyone that tells me I do too much. Okay... listen to them... and then what? Cut back? I don't know about that. Most days, I still feel like I'm sitting around and doing nothing with my time, being lazy and slacking off. Go figure.

Okay, enough of this. This semester is just like all the others. Only I'll do everything better this time around, more efficiently, with more attention to getting everything just right. Quality and quantity? I think it can happen. I'm going to give it a shot, anyway. Anyone else up for the ride? I wouldn't mind the company.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Not quite ready

The semester is officially underway, and I don't think I'm exactly geared up for it. That doesn't necessarily change things... I'll still be there for the first day of my courses, teaching, etc., but I'm not exactly turning cartwheels about it. I think it's a lack-of-sleep issue. My sleep schedule has been lopsided for the past three weeks, and I can't seem to right it. The way I see it, it'll just take care of itself, once I'm obligated to be somewhere and do productive things on a regular basis. Not that I've been a complete waste lately... just not at my usual insane pace. For some, that might seem like a good thing. Personally, I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I don't do well in slow-mo.

John's teaching his first course of the semester at the moment. I haven't got any commitments until tomorrow, and no classes until the day after that, but that doesn't mean I'm relaxed. Actually, I'm working on a few things now. It's just not getting me to my usual level of pumped-up-ness, for whatever reason. My theory is that I've simply been away from people for too long. John's been great, but he's kind of... well... singular, and we've seen nothing but one another since we got back from Texas. It's been fun, that's for sure, but not exactly conducive to productivity. I'm not worried about it... I'm sure it'll all kick into gear, if it isn't already... thing is, I'm just not particularly enthused.

But yeah, I'm sleepy. And I'm a little hungry, what with the diet/workout thing going on. We'll say that the culmination of all that is to blame for my lacadaisical attitude, and we'll leave it at that. In a couple of days, I'll be just as bright-tailed and bushy-eyed as ever. Till then, though, don't expect fireworks. That is, unless you've got a sandwich on you.

Friday, January 12, 2007

No, it's not a resolution

... because I didn't make any kind of promise at New Year's. The point is, I want to get back on the weight loss kick that was so effective for me last year. I've kept the weight off since I lost it, which is good, but now I'm looking to really kick myself in the face and get down to a weight I think I've only seen once in my life, which was probably back when I was in junior high. If I can lose 40 more pounds, I'd be on absolute fire. It may seem like a huge number, but it isn't, really... after all, I've already lost that much (and a little more, in fact) since I moved to New York. And even with that weight loss, I'd still be well above my recommended weight for my height. At any rate, I've decided to push my own buttons all over again and give it a shot.

Lucky for me, I'm not the only one. Since the weight loss competition I engaged in last year, it seems that the rest of the participants are of the same mind. Some have put on even more weight, some are unhappy with their original results. In any case, everyone else is also feeling the need to take up the weight loss torch. That's why we've collectively decided to reinstate the weight loss competition, now with new goals and new monetary commitments. I don't know how confident everyone is, but at least we're all pretty determined, so I'm not counting anyone out just yet. John is convinced he's looking a mess, so he wants to lose another thirty or so, which I think is truly ridiculous. He's pretty serious about it, though, as I am. And who doesn't love a challenge? Anyway, the game is afoot. Again. We had our first weigh-in on Wednesday, so we're all off and running... all the original participants, plus one or two more.

John and I started working out yesterday... I don't wanna talk about it. My muscles are doing plenty of talking right now. No use complaining... I've got more of it ahead of me later today. Classes start up again next Tuesday, so I have until them to get myself up to some kind of comfortable operating level with all the new working-out business I'm putting myself through. I've been careful not to overdo things, minding my diet and the amount of work I do, so I'm pretty confident that I won't be so sore after workouts in a few days. Besides, John and I have a couple of days set aside for working on the apartment, and I have a little prep work ahead of me before the semester kicks off, so it's not like I'll be in the gym 24/7. That might not be the worst idea, given the work I have ahead of me. Don't worry, though... I'm not about to run myself ragged over this. I'm generally too busy for that anyway.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Holidays, New Year, an so on

I've been neglectful with my blog. Terrible of me, right? Yeah, well, I'm okay with it.

At the moment, I'm killing time for the next couple of days. That is, I'll be working on my thesis and a project for my little on-the-side gig with the National Center for Alcohol and Substance Abuse... so I have work to do, but it's nothing compared to what I had to deal with during finals. Hence, my absence from the blogging world. Okay, I might have been able to spare a few moments, but in the end, it hurt just to think about being in front of my computer. Besides, my trip to Texas for the holidays has proven entertaining enough to keep the computer well at bay. Now, however, I suppose it's time to return to the grind. It's been about a week since I've done any kind of real work, which still doesn't feel like enough of a break from all this, but yes, I think I can muster the courage to hurl myself back into the frey.

We'll be in Texas for two more days, and then we're headed back to New York. John is kicking and screaming (on the inside, of course) to get back to NYC, and I can't say I'm too far off from those senttiments myself. It's been fantastic to see family and friends, of course, and much of it has been relaxed. These trips, however, are never without their stress. Family gatherings are what they are, and often become troublesome in their own right. Friends love us, but there are enough of them to see that we start feeling like pinballs at the end of a day filled with visits. In the end, you risk upsetting one or two people because you didn't visit with them enough (or at all), which leaves you feeling bad about your efforts. And yet, what the hell can one do? Whatever happened to compassionate friends who understand the fact that you're stretched thin as it is, and that it's not meant to be a personal slight if you didn't get a chance to see them? Besides, when was the last time any of them flew up to New York? As soon as that particular question crosses my mind, I start feeling less guilty about all the people I haven't had a chance to see this time around. I mean, there are some people who haven't the means to visit, and likely would if they could, but there are the others who could manage it and simply don't. John and I are doing what we can to see those friends who are legitimately unable to see us in New York. As for the rest... nyeh.

For anyone who's been wondering, Christmas was fine. We did two family shindigs... one with one branch of John's family on Christmas Eve, and the other with the other branch of John's family on Christmas day. We also got together with friends and did some slightly less formal celebrating, gift exchanging, and so on, but we were all so exhausted at that point that I fear we were all far less energetic that we'd all hoped. Everything was quite enjoyable, though, so no complaints from me. For New Year's, we went to a restaurant and club which opened in Addison in December... two of our friends are part owners... and we had a fantastic time bringing in the new year on a nice little discount (which could have been a little better, guys... sorry, but we did come all the way from New York, and you did make it sound like it was a no-strings invitation... love you forever, though). Here is a taste of my New Year's celebration, by the way, despite the fact that everything's so dark... guess a proper camera would have done better than my not-exactly-functional camera phone:

John, ever the default designated driver
(weirdo non-drinker), had his fun nonetheless.

Chuck behaved beautifully,
even when scary girls felt the
need to talk to him.

Jynxy was also happy to be there,
despite appearances.

As for me, I was just fine.